(written last night)
So, I was thinking today.....you NEVER truly know what people are going through...do you? I have had a lump in my throat the past two days (not because I have a sore throat)....literally having a hard time swallowing......because I have had a very stressful school year and it's escalating......and I am ready to be home with Grey!
I have a very challenging group this year. This marks my 7th year (3 in preschool and now 4 in kindergarten) in teaching (not that that's very long) but I have NEVER had a year like this. I come home everyday and just kiss and hug on Grey as much as I can! I have ONE child in particular that has given me a lot of trouble and some of you might be thinking "he's ONLY 5" but believe me his behavior has truly been UNBELIEVABLE and VIOLENT. This has opened my eyes BIG enough to NOT want Greyson in the public schools if that tells you anything and I would be throwing a MIND SNAP if Grey was in this classroom that I have this year. It is so hard to see this and deal with this daily among other things that I won't mention. It is also difficult for me to see so MUCH anger in a child and then to have to try and comprehend what he has to go home to also.
I am sitting here because Nate just took Grey fishing (I know can't wait to hear about this) and I have a minute to myself just to sit down, take a few deep breaths, and try to make sense out of all of it. I'm not gonna lie, I am having a difficult time right now and needed to write about it! So, because of these feelings I decided to write Grey a little note...
Dear Greyson,
I am writing you this letter as your mom, your companion, your guide, and your helper.
I want to start off by telling you how proud I am of you. You are, of course my first born son and because of you I now carry the title -MOM. It's a title I LOVE having. It's a title I hold ut-most respect for and it's a title I will now live with forever. And, once again, the only reason I have it is because of YOU. You started it and it has forever moved me and changed me. I'm a better person because of you!
I want you to know that no matter what...... I/we.... am/are... always here for you.
I want you to know that your mom is a heavy thinker...sometimes I think way too much. I think and dwell on a lot
I want you to know that your mom is a teacher, BUT always your mother FIRST
I want you to know that when you smile at me my heart skips a beat
I want you to know that it's okay to make mistakes......Live and Learn Greyson Live and Learn
I want you to know that your faith is important........Believe in God
I want you to be a LEADER in school and everywhere you go-not a follower
I want you to know that I will remind you of these things constantly
I want you to know that Life is all about the CHOICES you make
I want you to know that the sun will come out tomorrow
I want you to know that I worry about you only because I'm your mom and it comes with the territory
I want you to know that I will ALWAYS be the QUEEN of our family, however, I will hand over my crown some day to that future Mrs. Greyson Ernat-I promise I will... but for now I wear the crown and am the QUEEN here!
I want you to know that family is so very important
I want you to know that I have strong beyond strong morals and values that I will pass onto you.
I want you to know that you are my angel
I want you to know that it's important to pray.
I want you to have dreams Greyson....BIG dreams
I want you to know that you have a wonderful family (everyone in our family) who loves you more than anything and is always there for you with open arms.
I want you to know that it's important to be truthful, truthful, truthful in every relationship and walk of life you have
I want you to know how important family traditions are and we will teach you that
Greyson - this is just a start, kinda like the tip of the iceberg of things I want to say. Or more like my head and heart fill up with so many things I want to tell you and as they come to me, I will be sure to let you know and guide you in the right direction.
Love,
Mom
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Sidetracks Visit
Nate had to bartend the other day so he asked if I would bring Grey down. He might have gotten bored and needed some good company, but who knows;) Lucky for him we had just gotten back from Walmart and Grey still had a little time before his nap so we stopped by to see him!
Learning how to poor the good stuf, well it's not the "good" stuff for the Ernat men, but Grey just wanted to play...
Nate mixed Grey and I up a little drink of cranberry juice and sprite...it ended up pretty good...
Just to give you an idea of how CROWDED the bar usually is when Grey and I go!
Then since there were no customers we enjoyed our visit out on the deck for a little bit...
Learning how to poor the good stuf, well it's not the "good" stuff for the Ernat men, but Grey just wanted to play...
Nate mixed Grey and I up a little drink of cranberry juice and sprite...it ended up pretty good...
Just to give you an idea of how CROWDED the bar usually is when Grey and I go!
Then since there were no customers we enjoyed our visit out on the deck for a little bit...
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Fishing with Ebby and Grey
Dogsitting went pretty good and to keep mo and shmo occupied on Saturday we took the two of them fishing...
Daddy and Grey were trying to find just the right spot
Ebby and Grey just ran around everywhere
The 3 of them trying to spot a good one
They are quite a duo
Then Nate managed to catch some for Grey to see! First a wee bitty one
Then a good size Crappie
and then this thing.......a BIG blue gill.....Nate said this was a big one....he would have taken it but he wasn't planning on catching anything and didn't have anything to put it in....so some kid that was there with his dad got a great big blue gill for his bucket....
Dogsitting with Mo and Shmo was a success!
Daddy and Grey were trying to find just the right spot
Ebby and Grey just ran around everywhere
The 3 of them trying to spot a good one
They are quite a duo
Then Nate managed to catch some for Grey to see! First a wee bitty one
Then a good size Crappie
and then this thing.......a BIG blue gill.....Nate said this was a big one....he would have taken it but he wasn't planning on catching anything and didn't have anything to put it in....so some kid that was there with his dad got a great big blue gill for his bucket....
Dogsitting with Mo and Shmo was a success!
Monday, April 19, 2010
Mothering
This was an article written by Jen Klein on CNN.com. I thought it was really good and wanted to share it with all of you. Whether you're a mother, whether you're trying to have a baby, whether you are "toying" with the idea of wanting a baby....this is good for all of us to read and just to think about in general. I thought it spoke mountains and hit it right on the nose....
Here is the whole article:
"C'mon, you've done it. You judged another mom on her choices, maybe even a close friend. You likely felt a little guilty about it -- but the judgment was still there. The way moms -- well, women in general but especially moms -- judge one another is one of those dirty little secrets of mommy social structure, and it's not so secret.
Being a mom is incredibly hard work, and there's no way to be absolutely sure you are doing it right. Kids don't come with instruction manuals and checklists. There is no annual performance review with incentive awards for successes and improvement plans for less-than-successes.
For many of us, it will be decades before we have a real sense of how we did as a mom.
Amid that incredible level of uncertainty in this oh-so-vital job, it's no wonder we look to other moms for support, reassurance -- and maybe some smug self-satisfaction.
Insecurity about our own efforts combined with the appearance (good or less-than-good) of others' efforts makes conditions ripe for judgment and lashing out. Even among close friends, it's easy to slide into this not-at-all productive dynamic -- whether we want to admit it or not. Best friends or worst enemies -- or both -- the social dynamic among moms is a complicated, two-faced beast. It's the "mommy mafia."
Ah, yes, the mommy mafia. Enforcers of local social structures and norms and judgers of all who dare to do things differently. The mommy mafia can be brutal.
There's a little bit of the mommy mafia in each of us. Throw in one or a dozen of the hot-button issues in parenting today, and it's a potentially combustible situation -- the makings of a mommy mafia turf war!
Working-outside-the-home or stay-at-home, breast or bottle, cloth diapers or disposable, organic or processed, public school or home school, or any one of a myriad of topics from pregnancy to adulthood.
You make your decisions and hope you got them right, but a friend or a "frenemy" makes a comment or gives you the stink-eye and you doubt your decisions all over again -- or you're the one making the comments or giving the eye to a mom who dared to do it differently from you.
When we have any kind of insecurity about our own parenting decisions, pointing fingers at the choices and parenting decisions of others is the easiest thing to do. It deflects attention from issues in our own parenting situation that might rightly need more personal thought and attention. Whether we are convinced that one way is the right way -- or we are still trying to convince ourselves that our decision is the right one -- it's base insecurity that drives this lashing out, this mommy mafia on display.
The mommy mafia, however, is more about perception than anything else. The enforcers are real, but the basis on which we enforce is myth: the myth of the perfect mom, something none of us will attain.
Here's the thing: We're all figuring it out as we go along. Every last one of us. There is no single right way to parent and we all parent differently by necessity -- and none of us are perfect. We all have a different set of circumstances, different strengths and weaknesses, and a different set of lenses through which we make decisions for ourselves and on behalf of our families. From the ones you have judged to the ones who have judged you, we're all doing the best we can, imperfections and all.
And if we all did parent exactly the same way? Sure, the noise around parenting issues would be much quieter, but it would also be a much more boring world. But those differences don't have to slide into mommy mafia turf, either. Learning to accept that we're all different and imperfect as parents is hard, however, especially when we want so much to do a great job.
It starts with accepting ourselves and the choices we have made. We each make a set of choices based on our life, knowledge, resources, and the information before us. No two sets of circumstances are exactly the same either, even within the same family -- and when you are making decisions for your family, the response of the local mommy mafia should be the last thing on your mind.
Once we get to personal acceptance, it's a short hop to real support of one another as moms. Banish the mommy mafia and reject the turf wars. Be the best mom you can be, but accept your imperfections and just keep working at it. You'll likely find you are more resilient and have less need to lash out -- and that's just plain good parenting."
Here is the whole article:
"C'mon, you've done it. You judged another mom on her choices, maybe even a close friend. You likely felt a little guilty about it -- but the judgment was still there. The way moms -- well, women in general but especially moms -- judge one another is one of those dirty little secrets of mommy social structure, and it's not so secret.
Being a mom is incredibly hard work, and there's no way to be absolutely sure you are doing it right. Kids don't come with instruction manuals and checklists. There is no annual performance review with incentive awards for successes and improvement plans for less-than-successes.
For many of us, it will be decades before we have a real sense of how we did as a mom.
Amid that incredible level of uncertainty in this oh-so-vital job, it's no wonder we look to other moms for support, reassurance -- and maybe some smug self-satisfaction.
Insecurity about our own efforts combined with the appearance (good or less-than-good) of others' efforts makes conditions ripe for judgment and lashing out. Even among close friends, it's easy to slide into this not-at-all productive dynamic -- whether we want to admit it or not. Best friends or worst enemies -- or both -- the social dynamic among moms is a complicated, two-faced beast. It's the "mommy mafia."
Ah, yes, the mommy mafia. Enforcers of local social structures and norms and judgers of all who dare to do things differently. The mommy mafia can be brutal.
There's a little bit of the mommy mafia in each of us. Throw in one or a dozen of the hot-button issues in parenting today, and it's a potentially combustible situation -- the makings of a mommy mafia turf war!
Working-outside-the-home or stay-at-home, breast or bottle, cloth diapers or disposable, organic or processed, public school or home school, or any one of a myriad of topics from pregnancy to adulthood.
You make your decisions and hope you got them right, but a friend or a "frenemy" makes a comment or gives you the stink-eye and you doubt your decisions all over again -- or you're the one making the comments or giving the eye to a mom who dared to do it differently from you.
When we have any kind of insecurity about our own parenting decisions, pointing fingers at the choices and parenting decisions of others is the easiest thing to do. It deflects attention from issues in our own parenting situation that might rightly need more personal thought and attention. Whether we are convinced that one way is the right way -- or we are still trying to convince ourselves that our decision is the right one -- it's base insecurity that drives this lashing out, this mommy mafia on display.
The mommy mafia, however, is more about perception than anything else. The enforcers are real, but the basis on which we enforce is myth: the myth of the perfect mom, something none of us will attain.
Here's the thing: We're all figuring it out as we go along. Every last one of us. There is no single right way to parent and we all parent differently by necessity -- and none of us are perfect. We all have a different set of circumstances, different strengths and weaknesses, and a different set of lenses through which we make decisions for ourselves and on behalf of our families. From the ones you have judged to the ones who have judged you, we're all doing the best we can, imperfections and all.
And if we all did parent exactly the same way? Sure, the noise around parenting issues would be much quieter, but it would also be a much more boring world. But those differences don't have to slide into mommy mafia turf, either. Learning to accept that we're all different and imperfect as parents is hard, however, especially when we want so much to do a great job.
It starts with accepting ourselves and the choices we have made. We each make a set of choices based on our life, knowledge, resources, and the information before us. No two sets of circumstances are exactly the same either, even within the same family -- and when you are making decisions for your family, the response of the local mommy mafia should be the last thing on your mind.
Once we get to personal acceptance, it's a short hop to real support of one another as moms. Banish the mommy mafia and reject the turf wars. Be the best mom you can be, but accept your imperfections and just keep working at it. You'll likely find you are more resilient and have less need to lash out -- and that's just plain good parenting."
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Dog sitting
Well we are dogsitting this weekend for my parents! Grammy and Papa Riva went to visit with Auntie Georgia, Uncle Adam, and Jayne, so Ebby came to stay with us for a couple of days. Let's just say this should be interesting because Grey has started to take some naughty interest in Ebby. Ebby truly is the best dog and has never once even looked at Grey the wrong way, but Grey has started to kind of pull Ebby's tail and give her hugs when really Ebby just wants to be left alone. So, my mom calls last night to "check" in on her dog and asks how everything is going....I said it was going pretty good and Grey was just kind of following chasing her around the house...it was like he had a new friend on his territory and he was showing her the ropes...and my mom proceeds to ask..."is there anywhere HIGH Ebby can go so Grey can't get at her"...I did get a chuckle out of this and then replied to my mother with i don't know mom maybe she can try on top of the couch...but don't worry Ebby and Grey will both do great! Oh my mother and her dog! lol! Anyway here's how it went down...
We started with some "getting used" to a dog here and showing Ebby the ropes on Grey's turf...See look at that... the stinker with his hands behind his back like he's just doing "nothing"
Check out this duo...This is MO and SHMO for the weekend
Don't worry Ebby it will be alright
Okay Buddy this is my turf...whatcha think? They were giving eachother the stare down...
Come on I'll show you more ..................or it's like the soundtrack in JAWS-dun da dun dun dun
Alright I'll just give you one little pat on the back
and a hug
and one more
Then it was onto dinner...which any dog loves because you have a toddler in a high chair throwing you food...however Grey has been on a huge melon kick....any type of melon that is and frankly Ebby could careless about melon! She wanted chicken nuggets...lol! Grandpa Hank says Grey is going to turn into a melon with how much he likes it:) (cantaloupe, honey dew, watermelon--you name it my kid is crazy for it)
See!!!
and one more
then it was time for bed....so I tried this as a joke and to see what Grey would think...He didn't mind one bit...now Ebby on the other hand she wanted out...
But she did make herself comfy for the time being
and so did Grey
and then Grey even went as far as to cover her up...he's such a sweet boy...
We started with some "getting used" to a dog here and showing Ebby the ropes on Grey's turf...See look at that... the stinker with his hands behind his back like he's just doing "nothing"
Check out this duo...This is MO and SHMO for the weekend
Don't worry Ebby it will be alright
Okay Buddy this is my turf...whatcha think? They were giving eachother the stare down...
Come on I'll show you more ..................or it's like the soundtrack in JAWS-dun da dun dun dun
Alright I'll just give you one little pat on the back
and a hug
and one more
Then it was onto dinner...which any dog loves because you have a toddler in a high chair throwing you food...however Grey has been on a huge melon kick....any type of melon that is and frankly Ebby could careless about melon! She wanted chicken nuggets...lol! Grandpa Hank says Grey is going to turn into a melon with how much he likes it:) (cantaloupe, honey dew, watermelon--you name it my kid is crazy for it)
See!!!
and one more
then it was time for bed....so I tried this as a joke and to see what Grey would think...He didn't mind one bit...now Ebby on the other hand she wanted out...
But she did make herself comfy for the time being
and so did Grey
and then Grey even went as far as to cover her up...he's such a sweet boy...
But that didn't last very long a whole 2 minutes....so it was out for Ebby and bed time for Grey! We shall see what today brings with this duo!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Cowmoolicious...
Well if Grey has to be the backseat driver tot he ought to be back there in style-right!? So he's cowmoolicious now! This came yesterday! See!!!
Making sure he fits in there just right!
and then just some cuteness!
Making sure he fits in there just right!
and then just some cuteness!
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