Life...

has been a little hard for me lately...I've never really felt like this before and I haven't felt comfortable until now talking about it.  And unfortunately, that's just life sometimes.  I've been overwhelmed and very anxious.  Anxiety is the worst feeling and for me it started in the fall, shortly after Greyson's birthday in November.

At first, I thought what the hell is going on?  What's wrong with me?  I saw a lot of doctors, had numerous blood tests done and everything came back 'normal'...and so now I sit here and visit this blog where I haven't been in a really long time.  I haven't pulled out my camera in months and that makes me sad.  I've been taking pictures with my phone but it's not the same.  Photography is something I truly enjoy and capturing those little moments in our lives that go so fast are important to me.  I need to get back on track and I think I'm doing that but it's been a VERY SLOW process.  I have good days and bad days just like we all do and hopefully the good days start outweighing the bad. 

I cannot say enough about my family.  They have been here for me like no other.  They've been very worried and just like always when someone in our clan is down or something is wrong we ALL rally together man and it's something fierce.

It was probably two months ago now, but my mom layed in bed with me for a whole weekend and held me because that's what I needed.  As for Nate, he carried on like the wonderful person that he is.  Took care of the kids and kept the house going.  He was quiet though and I knew he was worried.  It's just so Nate...it's hard to explain.  I just needed my mom, but he was right there to listen, to watch, to feel what I was feeling and he never said a word he just stepped right in and did whatever he needed to do.  Basically to sum it up, my husband is truly an AMAZING person.  He just is!  And so is MY MOM!

So, basically I'm having some anxiety right now and trying my best to push through it.


Oooooooh, but these two.....talk about a breath of fresh air!  Honestly my night just got better when I uploaded these and looked at them.

And of course just because I might be a little anxious right now.....life is still busier than ever...Grey just finished basketball at the Y....and now he's all signed up for Tball this summer and some soccer in the Fall.

As for Sailor, we still need to do potty training.  It's def. not her fault.  I'm to blame.  She's more than ready but I'm not worried about it.  She will start pre-school in the Fall and is SOOOO excited!  She will also start dance class in August.  She's such a girly girl.

That's the thing about life, you never know what's coming.  But there's SOOO much good and my two kids help me see that every day.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend!  Happy Friday!

Last weekend...

We took the kids and enjoyed some Halloween fun last weekend, we had a bridal shower for Gina, and we also celebrated Grey's birthday.  We had a lot going on.  I would be lying if I told you I didn't feel overwhelmed, stressed, and just that over all feeling of "I can't do ALL of this."  I've been telling Nate that a lot lately.  I know I need to just suck it up because most moms feel this way.  Of this, I'm sure.  It's just hard sometimes and all I want to be is a good mom as we all do.  I think about having another baby ALL the time, but I can't imagine throwing another human being into the mix right now.  And believe me I know we just 'do' it and it will happen when the time is right.  I think I've been thinking about it more lately because my 'baby' just turned 5.  I can't believe I have a 5 year old.  I don't know where the past 5 years have gone, but I do know I'm blessed beyond measure and that my special little 5 year old has taught me so much about life.

Last weekend looked a little like this...

 

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Gina's bridal shower was lovely.  It was a very fun/girly kind of day (MY favorite kind ;-)  Oh and a lot of wine was there;-)
 At first, we told Sailor to smile by saying - "show us your teeth" - that's why she's doing this...

This is our big New Year's Eve wedding we are getting ready for - I.CAN'T.WAIT!

And once again - we try ;-)

Happy Saturday!

Ups and Downs.

We've been a little down and out here. 

First off, my grandma Joyce had a stroke on Friday and it was really scary for all of us.  She couldn't remember anything or anyone.  She was taken to the hospital where they ran some tests on her.  She soon 'came to' and seemed like everything was fine.  The Dr. said he feels as though it was a mini stroke, however mini strokes lead to big strokes according to the dr....  So, for now she is taking it easy and getting some type of blood thinner shot.  She was back from the hospital on Saturday so that was good.  On the 'up' side Adam, Georgia, and Jayne came up to be with the family this weekend so it was really nice to spend time with them.  Grey LOVED playing with Jayne.

Also, Nate's family has been hit pretty hard with the news of his Uncle.  Known to us as Uncle Dick, who has been suffering with prostate cancer for a while now took a turn for the worse.  He is under hospice care.  All I keep praying for right now is that he's not in any pain and to give his wife Diane and family all the strength they need right now.  He's a great guy who makes AWESOME salsa and a damn good bloody mary;)  He's been on my mind constantly.  Please keep him and our family in your prayers.




On the home front, we've been trucking along with our summer schedule and it's flying by.

This is what happens when you start the 'big' grill and then run out of gas...you move to one of these;)


  Safety first with this one;)

Time for s'mores...

This week I'm really trying to focus on my family and right 'now'...because in reality that's all we have.  I've known Uncle Dick has been sick for a while now but still when you get that phone call and hear certain words your heart stops and dips to your stomach.  It's your family.  He's someones husband, dad, grandpa.  And, for them, my heart aches even more.  God give them strength.

It's so hard letting go but we must remember that today is what is most important.  I've been thinking about that A LOT.

 (Some of us just like to stuff our mouth with giant marshmallows;)

(Grey took this- not bad)



So that's where we are for now.  We are taking the good with the bad and putting one foot in front of the other because that's all we can do.

So glad I had my family home to hold close this weekend.

And these sweet little angels always help.  More to come from our 'cousinly' weekend.

But for now, I hope all of you are living for today.  Always a good reminder!

Saturday sledding...

It's my little Saturday 'happy time' right now as I'm typing this...we just got back a little bit ago from sledding, had some hot chocolate, now my babies are asleep, and my hubby went to meet 'the boys' for a little bit...(me likey)

they always make me smile...

i'm telling you i was biting my tongue before we left because and i'm quoting myself - "nate, I have things to do today and this is not at the top of my list".......and then as I was getting my 'snow gear' on we had a really GOOD laugh...you see I don't have snow pants or a good 'snow' coat so i wear Nate's old stuff...needless to say, it's HUGE on me and I don't own snow boots so I wear my 'stylish' boots with black snow pants and a blue coat...well i was sitting on our kitchen floor with everything on and i was zipping up my dressy brown boots and nate just about lost it.....we both started cracking up - this was the scene - Grey was throwing a tantrum because he doesn't like the way his snow pants feel when he first puts them on (he might have some issues with some things;) and Sailie was just exhausted and in need of a nap, Nate was just about ready to put everyone to bed, and then there was me zipping up these fancy boots with my snowpants...(nate was laughing so hard and continued to say - "grey is worried about his pants when all he has to do is look at you" - haha)

 Once we arrived at our destination Grey was having a good ol' time and Sailor held up for a little bit...

 I was a sleddin' mama today...

She threw a minor meltdown after every slide down the hill...so nate would just put her on the sled and pull her up - haha!

the tantrums looked something like this...

And when the snow is slippery and you don't have the 'proper' boots on it's hard to walk so I just sat there...my bum was a little cold but i didn't know what else to do;)  After I went sledding down the hill you should have seen me trying to get up...

 when i'm with my kids i get another chance to be a big kid all over again...win/win situation...

Even though i had a gazillion things to do today...i'm so glad i took the time and went and did this with my family...see what I mean - they make me a better person...and for that - I'm grateful...

 I better go because here comes crabby sister up the hill again...;)

Happy Saturday!

Just me and my girl...

Saturday morning the house was quiet.  Nate and Grey were still sleeping.  I could hear Sailor babbling to herself in her crib so I snuck in her room quietly where I was greeted with a "hi mama!" and a big smile...I love the smell of her in the morning...I swept her up and smothered her in kisses...i opened up her blinds and the sun was shining in...pure heaven if you ask me...

 (After I changed Sailor's diaper....she didn't wanna get dressed.....so we played for a little bit in our diaper...)

this is a new decoration for sister's room that i found in my travels...the saying is PERFECT!  (now i'm looking for one in blue for Grey's room - if I can't find one I will make one)

 first thing she wanted to do was get her baby dolls and feed them...

it's funny because one minute she's feeding them all nice and sweet and the next minute she's either throwing them in a pile or stepping on them - ha!

Do you notice how they are all piled in her pack-n-play?  That's what she does before she goes to bed;)

love theses moments with her...(and she's so much better about brushing her teeth these days - see her with her little toothbrush - she's ready)

then brother finally got out of bed...and joined us:)

sister is the best grocery shopper throughout the week ;)