Life...

has been a little hard for me lately...I've never really felt like this before and I haven't felt comfortable until now talking about it.  And unfortunately, that's just life sometimes.  I've been overwhelmed and very anxious.  Anxiety is the worst feeling and for me it started in the fall, shortly after Greyson's birthday in November.

At first, I thought what the hell is going on?  What's wrong with me?  I saw a lot of doctors, had numerous blood tests done and everything came back 'normal'...and so now I sit here and visit this blog where I haven't been in a really long time.  I haven't pulled out my camera in months and that makes me sad.  I've been taking pictures with my phone but it's not the same.  Photography is something I truly enjoy and capturing those little moments in our lives that go so fast are important to me.  I need to get back on track and I think I'm doing that but it's been a VERY SLOW process.  I have good days and bad days just like we all do and hopefully the good days start outweighing the bad. 

I cannot say enough about my family.  They have been here for me like no other.  They've been very worried and just like always when someone in our clan is down or something is wrong we ALL rally together man and it's something fierce.

It was probably two months ago now, but my mom layed in bed with me for a whole weekend and held me because that's what I needed.  As for Nate, he carried on like the wonderful person that he is.  Took care of the kids and kept the house going.  He was quiet though and I knew he was worried.  It's just so Nate...it's hard to explain.  I just needed my mom, but he was right there to listen, to watch, to feel what I was feeling and he never said a word he just stepped right in and did whatever he needed to do.  Basically to sum it up, my husband is truly an AMAZING person.  He just is!  And so is MY MOM!

So, basically I'm having some anxiety right now and trying my best to push through it.


Oooooooh, but these two.....talk about a breath of fresh air!  Honestly my night just got better when I uploaded these and looked at them.

And of course just because I might be a little anxious right now.....life is still busier than ever...Grey just finished basketball at the Y....and now he's all signed up for Tball this summer and some soccer in the Fall.

As for Sailor, we still need to do potty training.  It's def. not her fault.  I'm to blame.  She's more than ready but I'm not worried about it.  She will start pre-school in the Fall and is SOOOO excited!  She will also start dance class in August.  She's such a girly girl.

That's the thing about life, you never know what's coming.  But there's SOOO much good and my two kids help me see that every day.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend!  Happy Friday!

10K Run today...

Today was the Canal Connection 10K run.  I did good last year, but this year I felt even better and stronger.  I remember crashing all day last year and feeling wiped, but not this year.  SO, I'm gonna tell myself I'm making progress with my running :-)

I was able to get 6.2 miles under my belt in about 53 minutes today.  I'll take that...I started getting a minor sideache but it went away - thank goodness...it was a beautiful morning for a run and the fall colors were awesome...

My good luck charms 'pre' race...

This was right at the beginning of the race...

and this was right at the end of the race...I was just about to cross the finish line when I spotted my family:-)

This is my friend, neighbor, and running buddy Jenny -I LOVE HER!!!  We are training together for our 1/2 marathon in March.

 and this would be her hubby Mike...he's pretty great as well...

and my family that was there to cheer me on!  So thankful!  I told them that knowing they are at the finish line waiting for me is what gets me through the race.  My parents were both there as well - they had to sneak out a little early...

Last weekend...

We took the kids and enjoyed some Halloween fun last weekend, we had a bridal shower for Gina, and we also celebrated Grey's birthday.  We had a lot going on.  I would be lying if I told you I didn't feel overwhelmed, stressed, and just that over all feeling of "I can't do ALL of this."  I've been telling Nate that a lot lately.  I know I need to just suck it up because most moms feel this way.  Of this, I'm sure.  It's just hard sometimes and all I want to be is a good mom as we all do.  I think about having another baby ALL the time, but I can't imagine throwing another human being into the mix right now.  And believe me I know we just 'do' it and it will happen when the time is right.  I think I've been thinking about it more lately because my 'baby' just turned 5.  I can't believe I have a 5 year old.  I don't know where the past 5 years have gone, but I do know I'm blessed beyond measure and that my special little 5 year old has taught me so much about life.

Last weekend looked a little like this...

 

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Gina's bridal shower was lovely.  It was a very fun/girly kind of day (MY favorite kind ;-)  Oh and a lot of wine was there;-)
 At first, we told Sailor to smile by saying - "show us your teeth" - that's why she's doing this...

This is our big New Year's Eve wedding we are getting ready for - I.CAN'T.WAIT!

And once again - we try ;-)

Happy Saturday!

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I have to be honest...I've seen better days.  I believe the exact words that came out of my mouth were "this is a sucky day."  But, I didn't want it to be a pity party so I excepted it and 'trucked' along.  What else was I gonna do, right?

Greyson and Sailor are both sick right now.  Sailor had a fever on Saturday, so I was thinking that Sunday was gonna be the same thing.  So, Sunday morning came and I headed to the Y bright and early.  My mom and dad popped in and brought me balloons and presents.  My mom was the first to say I should take her to quick care.  We heard a little rattle in her throat/chest and she was acting pretty lethargic by this point.  I quickly showered, my parents took Grey, and Sailor and I headed to quick care.  Dr. told me there that he thought it might be bronchitis and that I needed to go to the Emergency room where she could have a nebulizer treatment.

I was kind of worked up by this point just because of ALL of it...so I head to the hospital where they CANNOT find the order from the Dr. for Sailor to have this treatment done.  Well about a half hour later I realized I was at the WRONG hospital.  So, instead of continuing to give the nurse and receptionist dirty looks and thinking - what the hell is wrong with these people  - I stood up - told them I was at the wrong place and left. - DUHH!  The whole way to the RIGHT hospital I kept saying "sailie mommy is so sorry - I know you just wanna go home baby"....because all she kept saying as she was crying was -"mommy home...mommy home" (it might have been at this point when the pity party started - i was having a sucky day and it was my birthday)

So, I get to the hospital, check-in and Sailor sits like an angel and lets them do whatever to her.  Her not moving and letting them take her temp (under the tongue), look in her throat with a stick, listen to her chest, and then let them give her a breathing treatment - well all of that alone tells you I had a pretty sick babe.  Once the treatment was over, it did seem to help break all that yucky stuff up.  We came straight home after that and Sailor went to sleep.  She was wiped.  She woke up all sweaty and her fever did break.

I was supposed to go to the grocery store yesterday but I just didn't have it in me.  So, we went today after school.  Both kids seem to be feeling better.  I just want these coughs to go away.

We ordered dinner last night and my parents and Nate's parents came over.  My mom baked me an angel food cake (one of my favorites) and we all sang Happy Birthday!  I guess I can say now that even though my day didn't start out the way I had envisoned...it ended on a much better note.


When I uploaded these pictures tonight all I could feel was blessed and thankful.  Thankful for my family today and always.

(neither one of my kids look too sick here, but believe me hours before this it was a different story...)

thinking how lucky I am to have this little girl...and praying she is feeling better...

Here's to another year and (healthy kids) - Yes.Cheers to that!

Happy Monday!

Date Night!

Nate and I had a wedding to go to last night.

It was so nice to have dinner and drinks with my hubby.  Sailor was sound asleep when we got home and Greyson was still up.  Figures-ha!  He said he was waiting for us;)

I thought I'd share where I got my dress...I was actually looking at a photographer's website that I really like and she had done a photo shoot for 'brittishboutique' .....I really liked all the clothes I saw so I checked it out and found this little number.  (i added the belt)  I personally think they have some really cute things.  You should check it out!

www.brittishboutique.com

Ups and Downs.

We've been a little down and out here. 

First off, my grandma Joyce had a stroke on Friday and it was really scary for all of us.  She couldn't remember anything or anyone.  She was taken to the hospital where they ran some tests on her.  She soon 'came to' and seemed like everything was fine.  The Dr. said he feels as though it was a mini stroke, however mini strokes lead to big strokes according to the dr....  So, for now she is taking it easy and getting some type of blood thinner shot.  She was back from the hospital on Saturday so that was good.  On the 'up' side Adam, Georgia, and Jayne came up to be with the family this weekend so it was really nice to spend time with them.  Grey LOVED playing with Jayne.

Also, Nate's family has been hit pretty hard with the news of his Uncle.  Known to us as Uncle Dick, who has been suffering with prostate cancer for a while now took a turn for the worse.  He is under hospice care.  All I keep praying for right now is that he's not in any pain and to give his wife Diane and family all the strength they need right now.  He's a great guy who makes AWESOME salsa and a damn good bloody mary;)  He's been on my mind constantly.  Please keep him and our family in your prayers.




On the home front, we've been trucking along with our summer schedule and it's flying by.

This is what happens when you start the 'big' grill and then run out of gas...you move to one of these;)


  Safety first with this one;)

Time for s'mores...

This week I'm really trying to focus on my family and right 'now'...because in reality that's all we have.  I've known Uncle Dick has been sick for a while now but still when you get that phone call and hear certain words your heart stops and dips to your stomach.  It's your family.  He's someones husband, dad, grandpa.  And, for them, my heart aches even more.  God give them strength.

It's so hard letting go but we must remember that today is what is most important.  I've been thinking about that A LOT.

 (Some of us just like to stuff our mouth with giant marshmallows;)

(Grey took this- not bad)



So that's where we are for now.  We are taking the good with the bad and putting one foot in front of the other because that's all we can do.

So glad I had my family home to hold close this weekend.

And these sweet little angels always help.  More to come from our 'cousinly' weekend.

But for now, I hope all of you are living for today.  Always a good reminder!

Finally...Pool time!

Just popping in today.

We've finally had some HOT weather, so to the pool we go;)

Grey has been so excited.  He couldn't wait to get in the pool.  He's my little fish.  But, Sailor, NOT SO MUCH!

This right here was a HUGE step for sister.  She will sit on the first step and splash a little but that's it.  I tried to hold her and take her in with me and she FREAKED.  So, this mama knows to back off and let her go at her own pace.  She'll get there;)

 And this one is back at it again.....he slipped those floaties on (which he really doesn't need that much) and jumped right in.  Grey doesn't use floaties in the shallow and he just needed a little practice with swimming in the deep and then he remembered.  However, if it's up to him he uses floaties in the deep.  It's more of a reassurance thing.

 I think Sailor's main mission this summer will be to prance around the pool bringing 'things' to people -ha!  For example, she loved throwing the dive sticks in for Grey or bringing her mama a bottled water;)

In the meantime, we'll just keep swimming:)

Happy Thursday!