I did not want to send Greyson to school today. Actually I said to him last night, "do you want to go to school tomorrow or stay home with grammy Ann and Sailor?" I knew in my head he needed to go but it just came out. He replied with, "yeah mommy, I'll just stay home." At first I said ok that sounds good, but then I quickly reminded him that Monday was pajama day and he was gonna get hot cocoa and popcorn...and watch a Christmas movie. All of that changed his mind right away. He said, "nevermind mommy - I wanna go to school!" Nate was so supportive with all of it and he reminded me this morning..."Leesh if you want him to stay home today that is fine with me." We both knew though that he needed to go and so did I.
This morning I felt weird getting ready...All I could think of was that it was like every other day...and that the teachers and students of Sandy Hook Elementary started their day last Friday just like 'any other day' as well. I was very sad this morning but I tried to hide it because I didn't want Greyson to feel my stress. He looked so cute in his Christmas pajamas. They were not allowed to wear slippers so he insisted on his cowboy boots. He makes me laugh. Every time I looked at him or hugged him or kissed him I thought of the parents going through 'the loss of a child' right now...it's unbearable and there are NO WORDS...I've said a gazillion prayers for the families and people involved and somehow in some tiny little way I hope that helps.
I walked Grey to his line this morning for preschool and I'm not gonna lie I purposely kept him in my room until the bell rang today. I usually bring him down 5 minutes early, but NOT TODAY. I just couldn't. I rubbed his hand the whole way down the hallway and when we made it to his line I waited until I saw his teachers. I kissed him goodbye and I had tears running down my cheeks. He didn't see them and I quickly wiped them away, but it was hard for me. I found myself looking at everyone in the building today and any 'stranger' I saw come in the school - I just wanted to know who they were and why they were there.
I was so happy to see Grey when he got out. He ran to me and gave me a hug and was super excited when he saw a 'star wars' lunchbox sitting on a bench-ha! I brought him home today where he spent the afternoon with his sister, Auntie Mims, and Uncle Just. I went back to school feeling so much better just because I knew my kids were at home safe and in the arms of family.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Grey loves opening his advent calendar...he reminds me every morning...(yeah probably not the best time to have a chocolate but whatev...)
It's the little things, right?!
No comments:
Post a Comment